This morning I went for a long walk. As Ron wasn't with me, I kept up a running conversation with myself instead of him. While most people would be admiring the view of the Panama Canal and the wonderful sights of the city, I had some different observations....
1) A pedicure really IS necessary after a month. Although I have a tendency to see what I want, even I could tell that only 50% polish coverage was inadequate, and that living on a boat is no excuse.
2) Just because I was wearing a dress and a bit of jewelry, did not make me a lady. No lady I have ever met sweats from her eyebrows.
3) Wearing a dress while using a backpack, causes your dress to hike up past your granny panties. At first, I was quite proud of the fact that cars were honking at me, until I realized that perhaps they were protesting the sights before them.
4) It is not smart to set off after several cups of coffee and a bowl of fruit, before your morning constitutional. I have enough laundry to do as it is.
5) If I do not want to look like an aged prune (redundant, I know) before my 53rd birthday, I need to make sure I have a hat with me at all times. Sunglasses alone do not cut it.
6) An ignored grain of sand between your toes will give you a blister.
7) Shade comes in many forms. When I lived in British Columbia during pre-sailing days, I never fully appreciated the joys of a cloud.
8) It's hard to find a good antiperspirant.
9) It seems that all the alcohol I've been consuming has contributed to something happening to my inner thighs.
Our company has designed the ever-popular "Show Me Your Panties"(SMYP)Backpack specifically for men's pleasure, delight, and "approval" of raising women's dresses to show off your best "Assets" and "Sexiest" panty style (thong, shear, low-rider, etc...).
ReplyDeleteSadly, you must have one of our older "tester model" backpacks WITHOUT the offensive "GP Upgrade" that simply does NOT recognize "Granny Panties" are worn and should NOT, under ANY circumstance, raise the backside of women's dresses while walking/wearing and the offensive "Grannies".
Please, ONLY wear your SMYP Bakcpack while specifically approved panties purchased from "higher end" stores are worn. NOTE:Panties of any style should not be purchased from "Bulk Sections" from stores such as Walmart, Kmart, or anywhere the dreaded Sears "Tough_Skin Panties" are sold.
Our "blind tests" show multiple accidents occurre with men quickly raising their hands to completely cover their eyes from "Temporary" blindness due to GPB-"Granny Panty Blindness".
Until this fatal flaw in our backpack design can be upgraded PLEASE refrain from wearing the noted and offensive "Grannys" Thank you
I enjoyed your list!
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